TA - Coherence, Amplification, and Cohesion

This is the first time when I really have no idea how to expand (amplify) a technical point that we covered the past week. Since we talked about our RA assignment on Wed, and then chose paper topics on Fri, I will do my best on the topic we covered on Monday.

I found it interesting that we didn't have to organize our persuasive papers in any specific way (except to not throw out our enthymemes until the conclusion, and only if we feel that we have to at that). Instead, we have to make sure that our paragraphs have certain benchmarks of organization: the sentences balance old and new information (Cohesion), they develop the ideas (Amplification), and the paragraph as a whole has to make sense and be about one topic (Coherence).

The only problem that I feel is how to correctly have cohesive sentences; speaking with and old/new balance for the length of a paper will undoubtedly become boring, if not maddening.

As an illuminating example, I will bold the old subject material of the following paragraph and italicize the new subject material:

"I do not understand how we are to compose a paragraph following the guidelines of Cohesion. Having only been in this class for a few weeks, I have not learned much about the actual composition of a paper beyond creating an enthymeme. What Nicole has taught us so far on cohesion has been very educational and helpful on a conceptual level. However, the comfort that the concept of cohesion sparked in my mind quickly became more of a deadweight of confusion as I attempted to write in a cohesive manner, or as I understood it to be. The concept of the balancing act that cohesion employs appears to be difficult to apply in a real writing situation.

Interesting, interesting... As I struggled to compose that paragraph by following the rules of Cohesion (and Coherence and Amplification), the struggle became easier and easier. That paragraph took me a bit longer to compose than I normally take to write, but I began to feel it more the more I attempted it. I guess that's what this blog is for, eh?

RA - Future, by Tomer Hanuka

WATCO modern-day apathy in home and world affairs on the possibilities of the future?
Audience: The average citizen
Enthymeme:(a)Modern-day apathy in home and world affairs (b) degrades the possibilities of the future, because (a) modern-day apathy in home and world affairs (c) distances our culture from emotion and motivation for change.
Assumption: Anything that distances our culture from emotion or motivation for change degrades the possibilities of the future.

Ethos: He portrays the classic western family (mother, father, daughter) in normal-ish poses, even though his name doesn’t sound Western. The point of view is also third-person: no one in the painting is looking at you. It’s almost like looking through a glass wall and experiencing their life for what it is.
Pathos: So much of the painting is done in a deep orange color. I’m not sure what Hanuka meant it to represent, but I see it as Destruction. The tornado, storm, and volcano are all causes of destruction, the leaves in the background are being infected by it, the father is already full of the orange color throughout his skin, and the daughter is being infected by it. The color kills nature and kills all emotion in the people – why aren’t the father and daughter interacting in any way? Why is the father ‘reading’ an empty paper? The orange has destroyed all sense of emotion for the father, is destroying it for the girl (she's only somewhat interested in the leprous infection on her arm), but has not yet touched the mother - the only one in the painting interested in the turmoil and chaos outside her own bubble.
Logos: The painting is obviously a look into the future (the title is Future). The newspaper is empty. Not a word. They also all have oxygen tanks – they’re must not be any breathable air at this point in the future.

STAR
S: This painting isn't exactly sufficient, but for the medium I believe that there is a lot of information in it.
T: The reasons supporting the argument aren't exactly typical, nor do they explain how we reached this point. The painting is almost totally an appeal to pathos however, so the reasons don't have to be too typical (at least, I don't think they need to for a painting such as this).
A: I don't believe there is any kind of authentic sources to back up the artist's claims. But they are kind of catchy.
R: All the reasons pretty much are relevant to the argument. After all, the argument is the painting, and the reasons are all aspects of the painting.

FW - I love soccer

I think it's really a shame that the game of soccer is one that is not that highly valued in the United States. Of course, quantitatively rating value is a difficult thing to do, but we obviously care much less about soccer than we do football, basketball, or baseball. And that's really a shame, since it is such a great game to play that involves skill for all the players.

My ward has started a weekly soccer game every Tuesday evening at Kiwanis Park, and I have fully thrown myself into the fray. I am quite terrible at the main part of the game - I was one of those nerdy children that didn't play many sports as a child - but I thoroughly enjoy playing Goalkeeper. I feel that the goalie is the underdog of soccer: He's not lauded when a goal is scored, he gets little honor when he blocks a shot, but he gets almost all the blame when he allows a shot to score. So sad.

So naturally, since I tend to be the underdog in most of my endeavors, I gravitated toward the goalie. It fits me great! I don't need to receive glory, laud, and honor, and my past experiences being the underdog has taught me how to shake off any kind of undue criticism. I also become a very aggressive person in soccer (who knew?), and that aggression comes in pretty dang handy when I charge a lone forward who's naïvely thinking of attempting a goal on my turf.

I rock.

I really do.

Really.

But I suppose I could use some practice.

RA - Verizon Kiosk

My experience at the Verizon Kiosk was actually pretty good; Kevin, the guy at the kiosk in the mall that I went to, was really down to earth and explained things really well to my friend and I.

Audience: Kevin saw me as a technologically-savvy guy that knew what kind of phone he was looking for. H e nailed the audience correctly and didn't try to sell me on any gimmicks or dumb selling tricks. He also found out at the very beginning that I like music a lot, and he used that to his advantage: During the entire pitch (all 15 minutes) he had his way cool cellphone playing MP3s right in front of me.

Ethos: Kevin immediately set up a peer-to-peer relationship with us, and we learned that he was a student as well at BYU. His credibility to me as a student quickly rose higher knowing that he was a student as well; he knew what kind of service would be best for a college student since he is one. He quickly let us know, too, which phones really weren't worth the price that had to be paid for them and which ones were great steals. Of course, those could have been selling tactics as well, but the way that he informed us was in such a real buddy-buddy way that there was no detectable guile in his statements. He was good.

Pathos: I'm not sure what emotion Kevin appealed to, but it was all in an effort to make us feel at ease and not pressured whatsoever. He used colloquial language and just the right amount of superlatives to make him seem real and approachable (since almost all college students speak with a bunch of superlatives).

Logos: Much of what Kevin had to share with us was Logos - the differing minute plans, text-messaging plans, etc. He knew these data so well that when he showed us the corresponding pages in the plan brochure (upside down to him) he didn't even have to look at the page to point to plan specifics that were printed on the page. He also had a knowledge of other cell phone companies and their plans and such.

Overall, Kevin did a good job persuading me as a student with my interests in mind. However, I still believe that I will buy my next phone and plan through Helio. ;-)

TA - Different Introductions

We learned in class on Wednesday about the different types of introductions, and for our homework we were to write two types of introductions for a theoretical persuasive paper. I decided to kill two birds with one stone and complete that assignment and my blog assignment. Hip hip hooray!

For my enthymemes I will use one of the enthymemes that I already used for another homework assignment:

• What are the consequences of eating daily at Subway on a person's health and weight?
• Eating daily at Subway improves your health and weight
  
• because eating daily at Subway puts more fresh vegetables and fiber into a person's diet.

The four different types of introductions are as follows:

The funnel
Since the advent of refined sugar and processed foods into the American diet, the general populace of the nation has experienced an increase in girth and a decrease in density. In recent years, as the population has endeavored to find a healthy medium between pleasure and propriety, a number of eating establishments have begun advertising their meals as a means to reach a more wholesome and nutritious end. Subway, one of these establishments, has been exceptionally effective with this tactic in their advertising campaign. This begs the question: How can eating at Subway increase my health?

Some say this, some say that
The American population has been steadily gaining weight for over a century. Subway , known for their fresh selection of sandwich foods, promotes a healthy and weight-reducing diet through their meals and daily exercise. The company claims that their sandwiches will cause you to shed the pounds; however, some purport that the sandwiches can end up just as fattening as standard fast food choices. In order to make the best decision, we must know the consequences of following Subway's advice and choosing their meals on a daily basis on the health of our society.

The narrative/anecdote
Jared Fogle was a young man that, under normal circumstances, would have a normal life ahead of him, full of excitement, joys, sorrows, and the like. However, Jared did not fall in the category of 'normal circumstances'; at 425 pounds he had realized that his future looked very bleak indeed. Almost dogmatically, Jared began a steady diet of Subway sandwiches in order to turn his life around, and consequently changed his body and his confidence forever. If such a possibility is available to Jared, shouldn't the same beginning reach the same end for any other member of our society?

The expeditious
Within the past ten years, hundreds of people have reported losing weight and increasing their health by following the "Subway diet," or by eating a Subway sandwich for at least one meal a day. One reason for their weight loss could be contributed to an increase in exercise among all of those who reported a weight loss, regardless of their Subway diet. History has shown, however, that increased physical activity is hard to maintain among a large group of people. Therefore, the only common explanation available is that Subway sandwiches really do help their consumers lose weight and increase their health.

Some of these intros are more effective than others with this topic, and they each appeal to different audiences.

FW - Eric Whitacre's "A Boy and a Girl"

Many people do not understand the power that exists in classical style music. I often feel privileged that I am moved by so many orchestral or choral works that have been written in a somewhat classical style. This entry is going to be my a reflection of my fondness for the choral a capella works of Eric Whitacre, namely A Boy and A Girl.


Eric Whitacre is an American composer born in 1970, and has published a number of different choral and orchestral pieces. In fact, one of his choral albums features our very own BYU Singers. He has also recently premiered his first opera, Paradise Lost, to great critical acclaim. His use of chord clusters and silence in his music draws in the listener for an experience that, while in a choral style, is brand new and fresh. All this might sound incredibly pallid to the average reader, but the musical style in which Eric composes is anything but lacking in color.

The piece that I am so moved by at the moment, A Boy and A Girl, is one of Whitacre's pieces that we are performing in BYU Singers this year. This is the poem by Octavio Paz, translated by Muriel Rukeyser:

Stretched out on the grass
a boy and a girl.
Savoring their oranges, giving their kisses
like waves exchanging foam.

Stretched out on the beach
a boy and a girl.
Savoring their limes, giving their kisses
like clouds exchanging foam.

Stretched out underground
a boy and a girl.
Saying nothing, never kissing,
giving silence for silence.

The poetry is exquisite and somewhat heart-wrenching, complete in its own power without the aid of any musical support. Eric, however, has the talent of not only writing music, but of writing emotion. The last verse is sung in almost the same harmony as the other verses, but much, much softer. It's sung almost as if the choir were singing only loud enough to be felt, but not quite loud enough to wake the two slumbering lovers. The joy expressed in the words "kissing" in the first two verses is sadly, wistfully, and painfully resung in the last verse; the singers and listeners can almost hear a sweet, pained cry in the music, almost a wail, as the two lovers' inability to be once again with each other is painted in sound.

A Boy and A Girl is an exquisite masterpiece that, unfortunately, cannot be described in writing. The appreciation due to the piece can only be found by listening to the music and experiencing the soul of Whitacre's work. And where would a better place be to experience Whitacre's music than here on the BYU campus? And with what better choir should you experience the music than the choir already used to record so many of Whitacre's earlier pieces?

A Boy and A Girl will be performed on Friday and Saturday, September 28 and 29, in the Provo Tabernacle by the Brigham Young University Singers as part of the annual Choral Showcase. A wide variety of choral works will be sung (from the ridiculous to the sublime), showing the versatility and the ability of the different choral groups on campus. Personally, I would go if only to listen to a few of the choral pieces of Eric Whitacre. It will be an experience not soon forgotten.


Edit: Since I published the post, I have been told that we will not be performing any Whitacre pieces at the concert. Well, there goes all of that rhetoric.

;-)

TA - Hmmm, what to apply in a technical manner?

(Even though this experience might better fall under Rhetorical Analysis, I did not know what else to use as a purely technical element.)

This week we discussed a lot about enthymemes and Reader Rights, and we covered STAR on Friday. In discussing STAR (Sufficient, Typical, Accurate, and Relevant) as a response to the "Why?" question, Sis. Esplin/Nicole read us a story of her own creation detailing the account of Gold's Gym's attempt to recruit her into their ranks. I started thinking a bit about how Boy Band's persuasion and reasons for joining Gold's Gym aligned with STAR - granted, Boy Band was speaking and not writing, but the application of STAR was still interesting.

Boy Band didn't have enough Stuff in his argument to persuade the protagonist of the story to enlist into the gym's membership. He had a number of different reasons that might have been supportive of his argument if applied to a different audience, but Nicole was not one to be moved by the high quality of the weight machines or the incredible ab workout that she could receive on a daily basis. Basically, the reasons that were supporting Boy Band's argument were shallow and few.

The reasoning was certainly Typical (as we know, exercise will help you to look and feel better), but his sources were certainly not the most Accurate sources one could hope for. Gym salespeople are usually given information about the gym by the gym itself (perhaps an instance of a source citing itself), and all the information about the gym that Boy Band used was certainly of a biased nature. As to primary or secondary sources, my guess would be that Boy Band used primary sources - after all, he was working for Gold's Gym, and Gold's Gym supplied him with the information he was using to pitch their gym. His information was also Relevant to the argument at hand (Join Gold's Gym!), at least as far as I know about the discussion. There was a passage of time, however, in which Nicole zoned out during some of his explanations; at that point Boy Band certainly could have been blowing a lot of hot air and exploring different tangents.

As a whole, Boy Band hit around half of the points in STAR. We'll never know how he would have done if he put his argument down on paper, but chances are he would have fared poorer in that attempt. We can only hope.

RA - G4 Ad

My ad this week is from a televised ad for a G4 program called Midnight Spank. Having never seen the channel, let alone the program, I cannot say anything about it - except that I loved their ad. So here it is:



The argument here is that you need to watch Midnight Spank, or else bad things will happen (i.e., butterfly will open the horrible bag). The target audience is a little more difficult to pin down, but it's mainly late teenagers and early twenty-year olds; namely, college youth. The ad includes a young man (20-something) in a restroom at a club or party at a nice house, and he appears to be enjoying himself. His location, his dress, even the ambiance of the room appeal to people of college age, and perhaps a little beyond that age as well.

The best part of this ad is the wacky way that it uses the tools of persuasion. The ad appeals to ethos in that the ad is on national TV and is endorsed by a real channel. Furthermore, and appealing to the target audience, the main authority in the advertisement is a butterfly that alone holds the ability to open or close the horrible bag. Her domineering style of speech, a combination of her no-nonsense approach to the subject matter, her repeated descriptions, and her repeated use of Richard's name, make her a formidable authority in what she is persuading Richard to do.

The appeal to pathos is much stronger in this ad than its appeal to ethos. The disturbing sound effects and the slight echo to the speech certainly appeals to fear, but the true appeal to the emotion of fear comes from the sight of the horrible bag. The greatest fear that human beings have is the fear of the unknown; that fear is tapped by the shapeless, shifting, bleeding pile that is encased in the burlap bag. That fear is somewhat augmented by the seemingly innocent butterfly threatening to unleash the contents of the bag unless its demands are met unconditionally. The absurdity of the situation adds the element of comedy to the ad, and the 'slap!' sound effect near the end of the commercial and the jovial dictation of the details of the program confirm the humor that has been hinted at during the entire advertisement.

There is not much appeal to logos in this commercial, except to give the information about the show times of Midnight Spank (Weeknights @ 12 Midnight, only on G4). No more information is given on the content of the show. This also appeals to the target audience and their inherent curiosity: Since the ad is humorously absurd we can infer that the corresponding show must have at least the same characteristics, if not more. The curiosity of the audience, brought about by the lack of information, can be a stronger incentive to watch the show than a preview of the show's content - especially if the show is less than desirable.

The credibility of the butterfly, the appeal to fear, and the distinct lack of information in this ad all appeal to the target audience of college-age youth, and encourages us to stay up just a little later and watch Midnight Spank, only on G4.

FW - His Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman

This being my first real post for the class, I figured I'd go ahead and take my freebie and write about what I want. ;-)

When I saw the preview for the upcoming movie The Golden Compass, I realized two things: I wanted to see the movie, and that would require reading the book first. I learned from Amazon.com that there were three books together in the series. So, $13.50 and a couple of days later, I had the three books in a set and a week to go before school started.

I devoured the first book, The Golden Compass (The Northern Lights outside the US). It was a different experience than my normal Orson Scott Card-infused literary journeys, but it was very refreshing. The second book The Subtle Knife wasn't quite as good as the first, and the last book The Amber Spyglass was the hardest to follow. Pullman takes his (sweet) time to introduce the plot and main characters. You're halfway through the second book before the plot starts moving of its own accord without you having to help by turning the pages. However, the story was excellent and absorbing, even though the trilogy ended with a number of loose ends dangling into space.

I don't like to give plots away and such, but I do feel that I need to say something about the trilogy: I honestly don't know how the movies will be received in the United States since we are still a religious country, despite what many ACLU groupies tell us. The Golden Compass (and the corresponding movie, I assume) is innocent enough, but The Subtle Knife unfolds the central plot to the trilogy that drives the decisions of the characters. In a nutshell: Pullman is an atheist, and his trilogy is anti-organized religion, if not anti-God. It will be interesting to see how the entire story plays out on the big screen.

My recommendation: Read the books! They are enjoyable, witty, and leave you wondering almost to the very end which characters are with or against the protagonist. I'll end with my favorite passage...

Will said to his [father], "You said I was a warrior. You told me that was my nature, and I shouldn't argue with it. Father, you were wrong. I fought because I had to. I can't choose my nature, but I can choose what I do. And I will choose, because now I'm free."

His father's smile was full of pride and tenderness. "Well done, my boy. Well done indeed," he said.
-The Amber Spyglass