FW - My (Hel)LSAT Experience

I spent the entirety of yesterday morning in a cocoon of quiet chaos. Yesterday morning I took my first practice LSAT ever. As in, I haven't even looked at a real section of the test before. I knew that it was supposed to be a difficult thing to do, but I've been able to conquer a number of difficult things in the past. I figured: "Hey, I'm a smart guy. I can keep a good GPA. The LSAT is a fear only to lesser mortals."

I wish I could describe to you the horror that I felt about 50 minutes into the test when I realized that I had no idea what I was doing. My entire framework of confidence and perceived ability crashed around me, not so much like a house of cards as a house of African Elephants. On a foundation of mines. I was completely taken by surprise by the difficulty of the exam, and I was dismayed at my obvious lack of preparation.

Dismayed is a poor choice of words. In fact, I would call it hyperbole. I suppose horrified is a better word, or maybe aghast or thunderstruck.

In all truth, I think the best adjective to describe my experience with the LSAT is humiliating. I was severely humbled and innerly embarrassed by my presumptuous approach to the exam and its level of difficulty. This is not an easy test. Granted, it isn't impossible either, but I am not of the caliber of scholar to waltz into the exam room and polka out of it with top marks. I know there are some people that can and have done that; I, however, am not of that crowd.

BUT - do not think that this means that I will cower before the might that is the LSAT. I've only just begun, and now that I know my enemy I know how to defeat it. This test has not seen the last of me, no siree. I will make this test rue the day it ever set its beady little scanner on my social security number. And when the time comes when I shall poke it in its sleeping eye for real, only one of us will leave the exam room triumphant.

And on that future day - that bright, beautiful, future day - I will emerge from the bowels of hell bloody, but unbowed.

RA - Elementary Problems with Technology

"Now predominant in high schools, cell phones are creeping into elementary and middle schools. MobileYouth, tracker of technology issues, estimates 200,000 U.S. children aged 5 to 9 carry cell phones, and in 2006 that number will nearly double. Also, over 7 million aged 10 to 14 have cell phones, a number hitting 11 million in the next two years. Knowing this, cell phone companies market more aggressively to youngsters, offering decorative phones that download Internet music."

- Communicator, March 2005
National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP)

This is a pretty short paragraph to be analyzing, but it was actually the longest paragraph in the article that I found regarding Technology and Communication. The WATCO of the entire article is WATCO elementary school students having cell phones on the quality of their educational environment? The enthymeme claims that students having cell phones decreases the quality of their educational environment because elementary school cell phone usage disrupts class and facilitates inappropriate behavior. The audience is elementary school educators, and the implicit assumption is that anything that disrupts class and facilitates inappropriate behavior decreases the quality of students' educational environment.

*Whew*

The strongest appeal in this short paragraph-ette is to logos (with all the statistics littering the sentences), but my favorite appeal is to pathos. I love the author's choice of the verbs "creeping," "hitting," and the adverb "aggressively" when referring to cell phones; they communicate the stance of the author much more effectively than actually stating the stance.

In terms of style, there are not that many adjectives used in this paragraph - which is great! In fact, there is a single adjective here (decorative) as well as a single adverb (aggressively), and represent appropriate usage of modifiers. The most important part of the paragraph - the methods being used to ensnare more children into the questionable life of cell phone usage - is kept until the end. Furthermore, there is only ONE usage of the "to be" verb in the entire paragraph, a commendable achievement indeed.

Well done, anonymous author of a short paragraph.

TA - Dynamic Style

I like to think that I have style, at least in my writing. It was a great boon to my self-esteem when Nicole mentioned that your style isn't just an extra point in your papers; on the contrary, your style is one of the greatest contributors to your ethos, your credibility. However...I'm not quite sure how I would go about changing my style. I mean, come on, I don't really try to write this way. How do I do it differently?

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to attend the last class period due to illness, so any techniques or hints on Nicole gave the class on how to tweak a writing style went unheard by me. Hopefully the assistance that she gave the class will be simple enough (and by simple I mean just easier to understand than calculus, no offense meant Nicole) that I will be able to learn it and implement it without too many hiccups. With my track record this should be a cinch. Yeah, right.

But then again, would I want to change my writing style? Doesn't that seem just a bit more personal than your clothing style, or your hairstyle? The latter two certainly represent your own idea of yourself, but your writing style is more of an extension of yourself than a representation of the same. I try to write the way that I speak. Granted, I can take the time to make an exceptionally pithy statement or create alluring allusions while writing, but the basics of my style are still connected to my way of thinking and speaking. It just seems to me that this kind of attribute is more permanent than your hair color, nail length, or the cut of your shoe.

Nevertheless, despite my own feelings or opinions on the static-ness of style, I will do whatsoever my benevolent English professor requires of me. All with a smile.

:-D

FW - Spam. A lot.

I hate spam.

I'm not just talking about the pink meat wannabe, which I don't like anyway. Who doesn't notice their spam folder exponentially increasing in girth, or unsolicited email scum polluting their inbox, without disgust? Whatever hellions concocted the scheme of emitting mass emails to unsuspecting and unentreating innocents for the sole purpose of force-feeding their products should be flogged, verbally abused, whipped, and tickle-tortured. Then followed up with a nice round beating.

Perhaps I should ask for forgiveness for the strength of my declamation. I'm normally not an angry person (...I think I've said that before...), but sometimes my patience with a practice reaches a breaking point. Not only does my spam folder routinely break the 400-email mark, but the admittance into my Inbox of scandalous emails from people I have never known is becoming more common. So many times I want to reply to the emails that I find, but I know that by so doing I would only be confirming that my address is, indeed, connected to a real living, breathing, consuming individual.

No thank you, but I would not like to modify any body parts, whether naturally or artificially, mine or anybody else's. I'm afraid I would only get prescription drugs from my own trusted physician, not from your internet store, and certainly not for a condition that I do not have. I also have no desire for a Rolex knockoff, I do not want a relationship with an unknown (and most likely imaginary) young lady, and I would have no need whatsoever for Hannah Montana tickets.

Thank you Internet, but no thank you. Take your crap somewhere else.

TA - How do I know what to keep in my paper?

I wrote my first paper in this Persuasive Writing class.

I actually finished it.

We then had a peer review session in class, and my peer didn't have that much bad stuff to say about it at all. So I certainly shouldn't feel bad in any way. But I kinda do.

There was a lot of research that I just couldn't include in my paper. What was I to do? We were supposed to write a 1,000 word paper, and while that seemed daunting at the outset I quickly realized that 1,000 words come a bit sooner than you'd expect. I can't stop wondering if I should have dropped a paragraph that didn't completely mold with my enthymeme (argument), and replaced it with a paragraph that had more information and less emotion.

My enthymeme is as follows: Comprehensive sex education improves teenage sexual health because comprehensive sex education teaches information about contraceptives and more accurate information regarding STDs. The paragraph in question (too long to include here) was about the illegality of some decisions made by the government in relation to their funding toward abstinence-only programs. However, that topic doesn't exactly fit in with my enthymeme. I included it, though, because it would arouse emotion in my audience of conservative parents - and I wanted that emotion.

My other paragraph would have dealt with the statistics of European teenagers and their response to a very liberal sexual education policy. While pretty dang interesting in itself (...uh-huh...), it would not have made my audience feel the indignation that my current paragraph should. Stuck in the decision of whether to keep the paragraph or not, I followed the path-of-least-resistance method and used the 'illegality' paragraph that I had already written.

Now I can only hope that my decision will actually arouse emotion. *ahem* That is, an emotion other than the frustration my professor might feel about an irrelevant paragraph.

FW - Procrastinators Unite! ...Tomorrow!

I really do want to get my work done in a reasonable amount of time, but sometimes I just get into such an apathetic mood that nothing gets done. Kind of like my previous Free Write post where I talked about how I hate being spacy. This one's a lot like that, except this one deals with my purposeful spaciness - my addiction to procrastination!

My problem is that procrastination has almost always worked in the past. It really is a problem. I have seen the successes of it and the failures of it, and all of that experience rolled together does not, as of yet, seem to be secure enough to merit a drastic change in my behavior. Don't get me wrong - I'm all for changing yourself in order to become better - but you can't make a definite, permanent change to yourself mentally, emotionally, or physically unless you believe in what you are doing.

I know that better planning and performance will make my life less stressed...but I don't know that deep down inside me. I hope to have soon an epiphany on a grand scale that will knock me back down to terra firma. Unfortunately that has not happened yet; consequently, here I sit at 11:30 in the evening the night before my first paper is due in this class. I have not yet begun the actual writing of the paper.

Doesn't anyone know what I'm going through?

RA - Dig, by Incubus

We all have a weakness,
But some of ours are easier to identify.
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness;
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again.
Yes, you are my friend.
We all have something that digs at us;
At least we dig each other.
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday.
If I turn into another,
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies,
No matter how hard we try.
We all have someone that digs at us;
At least we dig each other.
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine.
If I turn into another,
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me.
Sing this song!
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone.

WATCO understanding each others' weaknesses in a relationship on the happiness of each member of the relationship?
Audience: the girlfriend.
Enthymeme: (a)Understanding each others' weaknesses in a relationship (b) enriches the happiness of each member of the relationship, because (a1) knowing the pitfalls of someone's personality (c) makes one more likely to hold on to and help the relationship.
Assumption: Whatever (c) makes you more likely to hold on to and help the relationship (b) enriches the happiness of each member of the relationship.

Ethos: "Yes, you are my friend." Doesn't that just say enough for credibility?
Pathos: The lyrics are pretty good, and they make you feel for the boyfriend since he's the one forgiving the girlfriend. He also asks her to be there to dig him out from under whatever crap he puts himself under - emotional!
Logos: I suppose it is true that everyone has "a weakness, but some of ours are easier to identify." The logical flow also makes sense - if I turn into somebody I'm not because of my weakness, remind me of who I really am.

S: I wouldn't call any of this sufficient, but what the hey, it's a catchy song.
T: This is a typical example - anyone who has been in a relationship understands the pitfalls of personality flaws.
A: Life is the most authentic source you can have. That and the internet.
R: What little information is in the song is perfectly relevant to the argument.

FW - Two missed posts...

Aaargh! Thanks to my spaciness I have missed two posts in a row. I felt terrible when I fell asleep on Thursday night last week (on my couch) without posting anything, but I felt exponentially more awful on Monday morning when I realized that I had simply forgotten again the night before! And I forgot to do my library tests. I pretty much sucked this weekend.

I felt like this. ----->

I think I should re-christen it to: The Epiphany of a Gregarious Boo-Boo.

I hate being spacy! It always happens: I get going in a groove where everything is moving the way it should, I'm getting my assignments done all according to schedule, then BLAM! I experience a day or two of complete mental inebriation, throwing off my groove ("I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove...") and causing me to not only miss assignments but miss quizzes! And even tests! Even today I nearly forgot to write, and it was only the grace of God that caused me to remember this assignment. Sorry to you faithful few who await my (supposedly) steady posts.

I think it was General Conference. I'll blame that. It's such a different way to spend my entire weekend: watching TV for at least 6 hours, going almost the entire day before I shower, being all churchy one moment and then secular the next; it's just so weird! I almost never watch TV anyway. Thanks to my groove being completely thrown off this weekend, I actually didn't get any homework done. Whatsoever.

*sigh*

However, the church is still true. I didn't forget that one.

FW - Pet Peeves

There are a few things that just plain make me mad. Like organic food. Why do we buy it, and in increasing proportions? The benefits that you experience from eating organic foods mirror the benefits you receive from eating natural foods (such as fruits, vegetables, grains, etc.), and yet the people that are hooked on organic foods will blindly swear by them. Of course, I am being a little bigoted by classifying all organic food buyers as sheep...but those are the kind that I have the most experience with.

Another pet peeve of mine is when people chew their food during meals with their mouths open. Don't they realize that that's disgusting? The sight alone is bad - I am reminded of Michael Caine's quote from Miss Congeniality: "I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your WIDE-OPEN TRAP." The sound they make, however, is simply revolting, like a bovine trying to walk through a bog. *SLOP SLOP SLOP* I don't care that much with gum (oddly), but with real food I cannot help but suppress a shiver.

And let us not forget the people that drive throughout the entire city and/or interstate highway with their blinker on. I've mostly experienced the right blinky. This one doesn't make me angry as much as it makes me laugh at the person driving. Sometimes I try to play a game and see how long I can make both of my blinkers alternate flashing at them (like winking each eye) before they realize their error and turn off the turn signal. Sometimes I pray that the extended use will burn it out.

I'm really not an angry person. I just tend to be a frustrated one.